I can't believe 2019 will be over in just a month. Then, the decade of 2020 is coming in so SOON. Listing a bunch of new year's resolutions might be the typical new year's thing that most people do. I normally have some resolutions for the new year. However, before listing my new year's resolution for 2020, I want to highlight the 2019 memories and achievements that have been wonderful in some ways. 

Starting from my new year 2019 where I was in New York. It had always been my dream to visit New York City. I visited these famous places I saw in TVs such as Grand Central Station, Columbia University, Brooklyn Bridge, and Central Park. Then a few days later I went to Arizona for a mid-year retreat program from CCI Program. I loved it so much 'cause I got the chance to visit these incredibly amazing places in Arizona such as Lake Powell, Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, and hike the Rock Bell and see the beautiful view of Sedona from the top.

In February I was selected to go to the Florida International Leadership Conference where I met many international students from some countries. I also experienced the most beautiful sunset kayaking in Lake Placid Florida during the conference. At the end of the month, I went to NASA-Kennedy Space Center which was really cool.

In March, I went to Fort Lauderdale and Miami for my spring break. I went to some beaches, strolled around the city, and took a boat tour around the downtown and saw these fancy mansions of the celebrities and rich people. That was fantastic! At the end of the month, I had a chance to join the SRMUN (South Region Model United Nations) where I met intelligent students who were very excellent talking about global issues around the world.

In April, my last month in the US, I went to Houston, Texas for a Launch to Success Program from the US Department States. The next week I got a free ticket to go to the Sea World Orlando, muchas gracias, Alexia! My last bucket list before I return to Indonesia was visiting the Disney Magic Kingdom in Orlando, and I made it 😭 The happily ever after fireworks show was spectacular and magical !!! At the end of the month, my American dreams finally came to an end. I successfully completed the CCI Program and had my graduation.

The first of May, that day was one of the most heartbreaking days in my life because I  had to leave the United States. I was REALLY heartbroken that I cried my eyes out for a couple of days before I left. It was painful to say goodbye to my friends and I couldn't stop crying. After ten months of living in the US, I finally came back to Indonesia I was happy because I would meet my family and friends again but at the same time, I was extremely sad about leaving the US. Another no fun part was because I had to go through this reverse culture shock where I had to re-adjust with everything in Indonesia. Indeed, it was really tough for me. It took me quite a while to move on from the US.

I spent two weeks of my June in Singapore working as a Course Leader of the EF Homestay program. That was a new experience for me. I had a great time in Singapore as it was also my first time going there. Regardless of its extreme humidity, but Singapore was beautiful and clean, and I love the food!

The first six months of 2019 were mostly great, especially the US parts. Then from July to August was just okay. I was trying to move on from the US and get back to my life again in Indonesia. I know it might sound too much for someone who lived in the US for just ten months, but that's how it was. Well, I think I was just too attached to my life and friends in the US. After some time, things were getting better. I kind of a little bit moved on from it but I knew this kind of feeling will come again every once in a while.

Overall 2019 has been wonderful. There are so many takeaways I got this year. I learned to know my self better through all the bad and good experiences I had. The older I get, the more I think that my relationship with myself and how I see my self are what matter the most. After all, self-love is probably what everyone should prioritize the most. As the new year is coming in just a month, I'll try my best to accomplish some goals that I wanted to accomplish. I'll possibly set some new goals to accomplish for next year as well.

It took me quite a while to actually start writing a blog again since I said it three months ago. A lot of things have been going on in the past three months. I've got a job, I still missed the United States every once in a while, I adopted some cats from my neighborhood, my very best friend came back from Singapore after two years, etc. So yeah, I've been happy, sad, excited, stressed out, and many other feelings that I can't describe, yet, none of those things I posted on my Instagram because I've been doing this Instagram detox.

It was started three months ago when I committed to taking a break from my Instagram. I remember that time I didn't feel good about myself. I felt like spending too much time on social media, scrolling the Instagram that sometimes made me insecure and missed the US even more as I saw my friends' updates about their summer break. The worst part was that I could stay up all night doing nothing but checking my phone. I wasn't productive, I felt wasted and I didn't like that kind of feeling. Therefore, I decided to just log out of my Instagram and disconnected from my online friends. A few weeks later, I also stopped checking my Facebook. For those Indonesians who wonder why I was still using Facebook, I actually started using my Facebook again ever since I came to the US, as my scholarship program required us to use Facebook. Besides, my US friends, social host, and professor are also quite active using Facebook.

I never thought I would do this Instagram detox because I knew it would be hard for me as I was actually quite active using Instagram. Indeed, it wasn't easy for me in the beginning. There were times when I just wanted to open my Instagram and see how everybody's doing, see what's just happening, or just watch my favorite content creator on Instagram. Not only that, but there were also times when I wanted to post pictures of my cute journals, upload funny Youtube videos from Trevor Noah, or just share my random thoughts. Conversely, I managed to not checking my Instagram account for four freaking months, which is amazing for me.

At first, I thought this Instagram detox was just for a month, but it turned out to be more than that. In fact, my life is just so fine without social media, at least for now. I'm actually getting used to it and I feel so much happier living the present without any distraction. I'm just focused on my real life and real friends I have in my life. It is beyond nice actually because we got connected even better since we don't see each other's life in social media so we had a video/phone call every now and then just to know how each other's doing. I used to think that it would be impossible for me to stop using social media, but I did it. I even want to make this social media break longer to unspecified time that I haven't decided yet as I'm just comfortable living my life without sharing the things I've been doing to the world. Not using social media isn't such a big deal like I thought before, at least for me. Some people were wondering why I haven't been active on Instagram and been disappeared for quite a while, but I wasn't worried because I knew if my friends needed me they knew how to reach me other than through my Instagram, and they did.

I talked to some friends about this social media detox and most of them actually thought the same way about it. They also wanted to take a break from social media but they just couldn't because in some cases social media is actually needed, such as for work, entertainment, or just to be connected with other people. I'm not saying that social media is not good, or I don't like it and never want to use it ever again. I would probably come back to social media again and use it in my best possible way, but not anytime soon.